quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
