Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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