Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize