oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need to sanitize my soul.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
