i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
