it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
