he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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