We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
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It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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