Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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