i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
