He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
