drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
