i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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