Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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