watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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