that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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