i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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