Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
