Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
