They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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