so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
