And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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