She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He is an equal opportunity slut.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
