Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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