It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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