so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
