$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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