thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
