don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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