on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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