One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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