how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
