And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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