I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
