Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
