"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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