I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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