I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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