If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
