i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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