i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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