Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i think my cat just said my name.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
