I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
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On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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