I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
