i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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