so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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