The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
