Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
