My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
