I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
