Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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