I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
