I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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