Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
