I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
