while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
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like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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