I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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