So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
