We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
