I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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