I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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