He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
