Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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