you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
